Remembrance Month

Kigali hasn’t been the same this past week. The streets are less busy, the people are quieter and an all around different mood. It is April and this is the month of remembrance and mourning. I have thought long and hard about what I wanted to write here… but instead of trying to write something up - I thought I would share a journal entry I wrote to God on April 7th 2011.

Today is a day of remembrance in Rwanda. God this day doesn’t mean much specifically to me but God I recognize that I have lived such a blessed life and have been so sheltered from physical hard and war and for that I will be ever so grateful. God I also question why I have been spared from so much pain. I know my life has been far from easy but God you have blessed me so much and I wonder why and how. I ask what you have called me for. God what my purpose is since I haven’t been through so much turmoil. Is there a specific reason I haven’t had to endure war, famine death? I know that you love us all the same and that we are all your children but I still ask why?

God I just feel like I owe so much to you and my brothers and sisters. God how can you use my story and me even though it has been “easier” than what people have been through here. God I pray just to learn so much more about you and my calling in life and how you want to use me – in relationships, social justice, in Canada and overseas. God this day is good for me to remember one of the reasons why I am here – It is to love, support and pray for people – your people. I just ask that you will give me so much love and strength for your people. I pray that the seeds I plant will be watered and that you will produce the fruit. I pray that I will be a blessing to all who know me and ask that I would honor and bless you in all that I do.

Amen.

I definitely feel vulnerable writing this and sharing this, but I think that it is important for us as brothers and sisters to share our hearts with one another and not be embarrassed of our relationship with God.

I was able to attend a memorial service at the stadium with thousands of other Rwandese people. I am honored (for lack of a better word) to be here for this time and experience. I will carry this memory with me for the rest of my life.