My Constant Battle.

I am in constant battle with the enemy. He is telling me lies that I am not good enough and that I will never fill the shoes of the one who went before me. I keep telling myself that we are different and God wants to use us differently – that I have a purpose that is just as important. So why do I keep feeling so discouraged?

I keep thinking back to a message that my brother preached on about comparing yourself to our brothers and sisters. The key line was “what is it to you?” He talked about comparing our lives with others. Why do we do this? Why do we question the one who made us and has a different purpose for us? So what if your neighbor has the job, or is well known – what is that to you?

I struggle being here feeling like I will never have the experiences that someone else has had. I worry that I will not be able to give to these people what they have been given by someone else – or even that my blogs wont be as profound. Should that even matter? We are all created differently and should be praising the things our brothers and sisters do – so why is it so hard for me? I am happy for these things and do love the great things my brothers and sisters have done… so why I am discouraged that what I do will not be anything in comparison? I know in my head that this is wrong, but in my heart is where I need to know this. I tell myself that God has created me with a purpose and that I am here for a specific reason - now I just need to believe it.